What Mother’s Day means to me as a new mom

image_1363891292933426As a new mom, I am extra sentimental this year. Having lost my own mother 16 years ago, I have missed out on lots of Mother’s Day acknowledgments. My older sister has been a mom for 8 years now, and though I typically wish her a happy mother’s day, that’s usually the extent. This year SO much is different in my life. When my husband and I got married, he had an estranged relationship with both his biological mother and his step mother. Being a sensitive topic, and not really having much experience with mother’s as an adult, I always stepped to the side on the issue. It wasn’t my problem to fix, and I trusted that over time it would all smooth out. Thankfully, it did. It took some tragic events, life altering experiences, and many years, but both of those relationships have been mended.

Excited doesn’t even come close to how I felt when things started turning around between my husband and his mom and step mom. I had prayed and prayed that one day, especially when we would start a family, that he would have relationships with both of them. After all, these women would be grandmothers to our children. Over the last 2 years, I have gained 2 mother-in-laws and in the last year, we had our first child, which means we have also gained 2 grandmothers. I literally went from zero mother figures, to 2, just like that. They both spoil our son and love him, they’re both easy to talk to and they’re both a joy to have in my life.

It’s a strange thing, going so long without a mother of my own to talk to, and then beginning a relationship with someone else’s. Even more interesting, is that they’re both so different. My husband’s biological mother reminds me so much of my mother’s mother, my Grammy. Simply because the only image of my own mother at the age she would be today, is that of my Grammy. That familiarity is so fascinating to me. Half of my brain says she reminds me of my grandmother, but the other half reminds me that no, she is in fact the same age as my mother would be today. She talks about things I can remember from my childhood, and makes references to things that remind me of my mom, yet her appearance is that of my Grammy. My husband’s step mom on the other hand is a little younger, and for that reason alone, reminds me more of the memory I have of my mother around the time she passed away. Both are such different women, and wonderful women. Just fascinating how I identify differently with each.

Now, this Mother’s Day, I too am a mom. I get to create my own memories for my son and create the mold in which he will remember me by, later in life. I realize just how precious a child is and how absorbent their memories are. When my son is grown, he will remember me as I am now, which is a completely different person than I will be when he is married and starting his own family. Everything I do in the years to come will be ingrained in his mind as to what a mother is. I pray that I will stamp his memory with love, joy, laughter, and trust. I pray that I can be the mother that leaves a lasting memory in his brain after I am long gone. I pray that he can remember silly sayings I use, songs I sing, the way I smell, and how his father makes me laugh uncontrollably. So that one day, he can look into his mother-in-law’s eyes, and see parts of me too. This Mother’s Day has given me so much to think about and so much to celebrate. I cannot wait to start our own traditions for this day; I am SO thankful to be a mom. It is a role that my heart has longed for, for so many years. It truly is the greatest gift, the best job, and the most fulfilling role.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the women reading this! You are all incredible.

 

 

 

 

 

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